Today I got a late start getting out of the house. I stopped to pick up a quick breakfast at McDonald’s, as I occasionally do. Today felt like an Egg McMuffin day…I usually just get a yogurt and an iced coffee, but I was feeling a bit more hungry for some odd reason.

Unbeknown* to myself at this moment was the fact that it was later than I suspected. I’d soon figure this out and come to an understanding as to why I was as hungry as I was. My usual small breakfast hunger was joining with a newly-spawning lunch hunger.

Anyway, enough omnipotence, back to the story: me, unsuspecting and temporarily obliviously ordering a “number 1″ (this is the Egg McMuffin meal on the breakfast menu). Pull forward, pay, next window. Iced coffee, bag of food. I open the bag…SURPRISE, it’s fries!

“Fries? They serve fries with breakfast?” I think to myself, as the imaginary audience that watches my every move Truman Show-style rolls their collective eyes and shakes their heads.

And then I get it. The time, the fries, McDonald’s unforgivingly strict and too early breakfast/lunch transition. “What’s a number 1 on the lunch menu? I never get a number 1 for lunch.”

Revelation number 2 hits me within 30 seconds of the first one, before I could even finish my first blessedly hot fry: I have never eaten a McDonald’s Big Mac. I felt like a robot learning new emotions. Special sauce? What’s this middle bread? Interesting…

I probably won’t get one again…it wasn’t that great. Plus I lucked out on the tomato front thanks to the salmonella scare (I think tomatoes are poison + tomatoes actually are poison at the moment = no tomatoes = I’m totally cool with that). Besides, I never grew out of Chicken McNuggets.

*You may’ve thought…”isn’t that ‘unbeknownst’?” It could be, either way is correct…and I figure: who needs that extra ST?